the golden years

I wish I could go back in time...live life in the simpler years of the world.
How much fun would it be to live in the era of jazz dancing, poodle skirts, flower power, WWII.
I watched Pearl Harbor tonight and it made me want to go back in time and live life then.

Which era would YOU like to go back to and live in?
I can't decide between the roarin 20's or the fabulous era of Jackie O.
I love fashion and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get to experience all of the above!

Hope you all had a great weekend!

well well well

I am a Duffy fan and I love this song! :)

Have a great Friday bloglies!

oh, boy!

an open letter to all of my exes.
have you ever wanted to get things off of your chest?
it always seems that every single guy i've dated has taught me something {either good or bad}
and i've learned a lot from them.

so, here it goes:

to the boy who was my first kiss...biggest mistake of my life, so thanks for ruining the whole 'cute' first kiss for me

to the boy that was my sarcastic half.  you were so much fun to be around!  and you always dished the sarcasm and humor right back to me. touche.

to the boy who stuck with me through thick and thin.  who was my first true love, i still think you're amazing and i thank you for teaching me so much about myself, life, and love.  you're awesome.

to the boy who made me feel so much love, who taught me that you cannot force yourself to love someone.  we had some good times, cheers.

to the boy who was too forward and ended up making me just not like you even more.  what an irritation you were, and you still are. grow up!

 

to the boy who broke my heart for the first time.  i hope you stopped fliriting with hundreds of girls...oh wait, you haven't.  some people never change.

to the boy who promised me everything, and gave me nothing in return.  i used to resent you, but i now thank you for what you taught me.  i'll never allow another man to treat me the way you treated me. like CRAP.

to the boy who was a selfish pig. thanks for opening my eyes to what i do NOT WANT from a man.

to the boy who i tried dating long distance, that was awkward.  I never want to do that again.  plus, you weren't even that good looking (shallow? i don't care!)

to the boy who made me want to believe in love again.  i thank you for breaking down the berlin wall around my heart.

to the boy who just wanted some.  what were you thinking?!  so glad i shot you down.  you're foolish...ya rumpster!

to the boy who has been there for me always.  we may have never dated, but i cherish your friendship, your advice.  if we weren't such good friends, maybe we could've been an item...

to the boy who was immature.  i am sorry for hurting you, but i couldn't deal with the little boy that was obviously still very much alive in you.  i needed a man, not a man-boy.

i know i probably left my fair share of scars on these guys, but some of them did some damage too.  some of them taught me some of the biggest life lessons.  some were just stupid growing up lessons.  some were just friends, some just made me mad. 

but all in all, i am so grateful for the guys who have influenced me and my dating life.
i have learned so much from all of them.  i am who i am today because of the experiences that lead up to this point in my 22 years of life.

so, to all you boys, you're rumpsters and i thank you for making me become a better person!
here's to another few years of dating....i think i can, i think i can, i think i can.




i got this idea from caroline over at her own eden

hey, can i get ashley back?

i'll be the first to admit that i've always struggled with my weight.
always.
i've always been a little bit on the chubbier side of things.
but i've embraced being a larger girl, because oddly enough, i'm comfortable being me.
i'm also quite tall for a girl (5'9 and 3/4)
i wear size 11 shoes.
i have man-sized hands. really, I do.
i've always been larger.
i'm taller than all of my gal pals.
i'm usually as tall as (or taller) than guys i've gone on dates with.

i'm just bigger.
bigger is better i've always found too.

however, recently i've been sick.  and it lasted for two months.
i wasn't able to workout (one of my stress reliefs)
i started to snack. a lot.
i started gaining the dreaded holiday weight.
i've never been this heavy in my entire life. ever.

today as I stepped on the scale i was slapped in the face with a horrid number i'd like to forget.
however, it's imprinted on my brain.
then a lightbulb went on.
i am usually a really healthy eater, but alas as i review the past week even, i am horrified at what i've found.
i shouldn't be ashamed of my body, but at the same time, i'm not my usual peppy, outgoing self.  i've started to find myself uncomfortable in my own clothes.  they fit a little too snug these days.
i feel better wearing my sweats around all day rather than getting my booty into my 'cute' jeans.

so, alas, as i've been going to war with myself for the past few days (weeks actually) i decided today was the day i start trimming my little gut down.
today is the day i start really really REALLY watching what i eat.

and i don't care what anyone thinks.  i really don't.  i've gained weight, and yes my steroids are partial for some blame, but i also have a tummy who craves sweets.  and i've supported it for far too long.

today i woke up and was determined to lose the dreaded weight i've put on while i've been ill.

so, forgive me for venting. on my blog nonetheless.
however, i feel that if i make my inner struggle public, that i'll be more prone to stick to my new regimen.
i am tired of feeling puffy, feeling large, feeling uncomfortable in my usually comfortable skin.
i need to become me again.

in the next few weeks you might catch me writing about my daily food struggle, a food journal, an exercise log.  but you can just stop reading for awhile i suppose.

i need to get back into my skin, healthy skin.

today:
for breakfast i ate some oatmeal. mmm.
for lunch: 2 large carrots, peeled.  a half can of black beans. an avocado and some lunch meat (not the sugary kind)
dinner will be a surprise, but i will be getting my rumpster on the treadmill this evening and doing cardio for at least 35 minutes tonight.

ok? so there, judge me if you will, but i am going to start feeling healthier.
i am doing this for me.
so i can be my happy self again in my skin.

thanks for listening to this 'rant'

fair thee well bloglies

workout tunes

my workout tunes as of late:

"Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar
"Too Legit to Quit" by MC Hammer
"Prettiest Girls" by Pharrell


"You be Illin'" by Run-DMC
"Bust a Move" Young MC
"Tik Tok" by Ke$ha
"OMG" by Usher



"That's the Way (I Like It)" by KC & the Sunshine Band
"Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison
"Celebration" Kool & the Gang
"1999" by Prince



"DJ Got Us Fallin in Love" by Usher
"Teach Me How to Dougie" by Cali Swag District
"Switch" by Will Smith


"I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)" by Pitbull
"Le Freak" by Chic
"I Like It" by Enrique Iglesias
"Eenie Meenie" by Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber


"Shake Your Love" by Debbie Gibson
"Double Dutch Bus" by Frankie Smith
"Sex on Fire"  by Kings of Leon
"Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire


What are YOUR favorite workout tunes?! 

one day at a time...

today i woke up ready to take on my world.
but guess what?
i decided that I wouldn't stress out about the other days of the week today.
i am going to take Monday on all by itself.
no interference with Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Today is Monday.
I am going to conquer my Monday.
I am going to make today the BEST I can.
I am going to focus on today as if its the only day I have left.
I am going to make today the best I can.
I'll never get January 10, 2011 back. ever. ever. ever. ever. EVER.

So, today is going to be the best day ever.
Literally.
I feel so happy today.
I know it may seem odd to you, but I feel so empowered today.
All I am worried about is this day.

I showered.

Picked out a cute outfit.

Did my makeup.

Ate my healthy oatmeal for breakfast.

packed myself a healthy little lunch.

and now I am going to work hard at the office today.

It's going to be a GREAT day.

Happy MONDAY everyone!

What has been the best part of YOUR Monday?!

eternal love

"Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings - even if we dont deserve it. Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us - even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will. We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father wont, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming"

[Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin]

thanks bffe for sharing this with me

love you

Happy Sabbath Day

[until you]

this is my new favorite song.

how sweet, huh?

Dave Barnes has a great voice

Happy Saturday

stylish blog {award}

My favorite blogger ever, Shalyn gave me this award this evening.  I'm no great blogger, but apparently I'm stylish...eeek!  Thanks pretty lady!  If you've never checked out her blog, do it.

NOW.

What are you waiting for.  Not only is her blog hilarious and fun to read, she and I also share a love for 80's music.  Love Love LOVE her playlist on her blog.

The conditions:
1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about this award.


7 things you didn't want to know about me:

1 - I have a huge perfume collection.  I don't like wearing the same perfume everyday, so I change it up.  I have 11 different bottles in my top drawer.  Unfortunately, I can't wear perfume at the dentists office, so I always LOVE when I get the chance to spritz it on.  Mmmmmmmm

2 - I'm a music guru.  Srsly.  If you hear a song on the radio and don't know the artist, odds are, I do.  If you want a song, odds are it's in my iTunes library.  If you see me at the gym, I have my iPod with me.  If you need a playlist for your summer barbecue, a Christmas party, a romantic playlist, a "just gotta dance" playlist, a playlist for the gym, I've got you covered.


3 - I'm a germ-a-phobe.  I HATE germs.  I sometimes sit at the dental office I work at and wonder where the germs would be if we used a blacklight and scanned for them.  I'm a clean freak.  It makes me sick to see people not WASH THEIR HANDS.  I  hassle my family members and make sure they wash their hands before meals.  I carry hand sanitizer everywhere I go.  I sanitize the steering wheel in my car.  I HATE germs.  However, it does NOT interfere with my life, so it is not an obsession...yet! ;) hehe  I'm just clean, is that a crime?!

4 - I love to watch scary movies.  I've seen 'em all.  I love to be scared as well, thus my love for scary movies comes out!  Saw, The Blair Witch Project, What Lies Beneath, Rear Window, Psycho, The Birds, The Ring, The Grudge, House on Haunted Hill, Jeepers Creepers...I love scary movies!

5 - One of my goals in life is to lipsync the song, "Alone" by Heart.  I would prefer to do this for a large crowd at a party or something.  I practice singing this song in my car, hand actions and all.  I'm sure the guy next to me at the stoplight the other day thought I was a wacko!

6 - I once drank gasoline as a young child.  I love the smell to this day.  But, if it wasn't for my saintly mother, I would've been a goner.  Thankfully she caught me just in time, call 911, and I had a pleasant ride to the hospital and ended up having my stomach pumped.  :)

7 - I like saying the word "rumpster" (rhump-stir) a lot.  Like everyday.  I call myself a rumpster.  I call idiot drivers rumpster.  I call my favorite people rumpsters.  It's just one of my favorite words (and it drives my friends/family crazy...but now they all say it!)


Now, the moment you've all waited for....I'm sure you skipped over my 7 facts about me, but who cares!
The Stylish Blogger Award goes to:

1 - Catie - Comfortable Chaos
2 - Ashley - Absolutely Ashley
3 - Kaitlin - Kaity Your Lady 
4 - Jo - Cup Of Jo
5 - Amanda - The Forever Endeavor
6 - Kaleena - Just Add Kaleena
7 - Caroline - Her Own Eden
8 - Kylee - R&K
9 - Trina - Feed the Birdies
10 - Haley - Life is Sweet
11 - Lo - The Underwoods
12 Perfect Peace - Your Perfect Peace
13 Sands - Sealverland
14 Daphne - Oh. That's Nice.
15 Sam - Sam In Real Life



to be loved...

"Everyone longs to give themselves to someone-- to have a deep soul relationship with another-- to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But , God says, "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone-- with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me". I love you, my child. And until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me-- exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing-- a plan you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things-- keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look at the things others have gotten or I have given them. Don't look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you.

Then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would even dream of. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready at the same time-- until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you-- you won't be able to experience the love exemplified in you relationship with Me, and is thus, perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love I offer you with, Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe it, and be satisfied."

 

-Author Unknown