saying goodbye

last night was going all great and happy.
i hung out with hayley and bree.  we were laughing and having a good time.
then all of that changed with one phone call.
this wasn't a good phone call, I could tell by the sound of my moms voice.

she told me my grandfather had called my dad and asked him to come up to see him in the hospital.
immediately.
my grandpa has been in and out of the hospital for the last few months with various illnesses, heart attacks, falls, etc.

last time i saw him, about two weeks ago, he looked frail and so thin and weak.
it was hard to see him then.
its hard to see someone who was once full of life and joy sink into the pains of 'oldness'

my grandpa is NOT a complainer at all. 
typically if you ask him how he is feeling, he'll joke back and say, "with both hands"
he never complains at all.  even among all of his pain and suffering.

as we reached the hospital late last night, around 10:45 PM, I entered the hospital room.
not knowing what to expect.
i saw my sweet grandpa laying in the hospital bed.
he looked tired, he looked worn out.
now, it's a Warner family trait to be blunt and honest and very stubborn.
my grandpa told my dad that he wanted him to give him a priesthood blessing
it was the sweetest experiences i've ever had.

i am so thankful for the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ I have in my life.
the gospel is so dear to me. 

last night was also the last time I think i'll see my grandpa alive on this earth.
as I hugged him and kissed his head I felt a wave of calm come over me.
i will miss my grandfather dearly, but i know he is an amazing man.
he has served others his entire life and has been a tremendous
example to me of what a disciple of Christ is.
Someone who truly has charity for others in his heart.

i love my grandpa so much.  i cannot fathom life without knowing him.
he has taught me much and has been an anchor in my life.

i love you grandpa.  and i cannot wait to see you again, in the eternities.
i hope that i will make you proud with the way i live my life.
i hope that you will watch over me in the following days.
i will miss you dearly.  i will miss your jokes and your smile.
most of all, i will miss you.  and the hugs you give.
i will miss you asking me how school is, how the boys are.
i will miss you.
i can't reiterate that enough.

my thoughts are constantly with you and my prayers too.
i am so thankful I was able to tell you last night how much I love you.
you have been such an inspiration in my life.
i am thankful i was able to see you on last time and say my goodbye.

This past weekend I was able to attend a special musical fireside called "The Living Christ" which was all about the life, atonement, sacrifice, healing, and ministry of the Savior Jesus Christ.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I am so thankful for this blessing in my life.

As I sat at that musical fireside on Sunday night I listened for over an hour to songs of praise and love.  I love how powerful music can influence a broken heart, a hurt soul, or give peace to someone who has lost their way.  More than once in my life has music been able to bless me and give me the comfort and peace that I was seeking.

As this week begins, I've challenged myself to remember the life of my Savior, Jesus Christ and study it daily in preparation for Easter Sunday. 

I would just like to share a few songs of faith and inspiration that I heard on Sunday night.
I shared one of the songs yesterday on the blog called, "Greater Miracles" by Hilary Weeks



How Great Thou Art


Nearer My God to Thee


Beautiful Savior

Greater Miracles

Have you any that are sick?

Bring them here, He will heal them
Have you any that are lame, bent in pain, hurt or yearning?
Bring them all old and young and He will lift them up
He will make them whole
And if they put their faith in Him they shall see greater miracles than these

Have you children who are blind?
Bring them here, He will bless them
He will truly make them see wondrous things
when you let them
Go to Him on bended knee and He will lift them up
He will make them whole
And if they put their faith in Him they shall see
Greater miracles than these


Did you know that He can heal the widow's broken heart?
That His love can change your life, save a world torn apart?
Did you know that He holds the earth and sky at His command?
But when you feel forgiveness come then you'll understand
That's the miracle
The greatest miracle

Do your burdens weigh you down?
Go to Him. He will lift them
As your brother as your friend, He has love enough for all men
Trust in Him, take His hand
And He will lift you up, He will make you whole
And if you put your faith in Him, you shall see
Greater miracles than these
Greater miracles than these

15 minutes or more saved me on my car...but not insurance

here's the fun adventure I had this week

{background story}
last year, I went to St. George and on the drive home my "check engine" light came on and wouldn't go away.  I drove into town and took my car to a Japanese car repair shop to ask them what the dealio was with Eunice (yes, my cars name is Eunice).  The dude at the shop told me I needed to get my catalytic converter fixed.
cost?  $1200.  TWELVE-HUNDRED bones.  Now, if you're anything like me, you probably can calculate that that is like a whole new wardrobe from Nordies, Forever 21, Target, Banana.  I mean, come on.
{back to real life time}

I got the oil in my car changed last Saturday morning. No biggie, right?
wrong.

i have been driving a ton the past week and as I was getting on the freeway, I noticed a really horrible smell coming into my car. I thought it may have been the old truck in front of me. Well, I shrugged it off.

then I was driving somewhere again and the smell came back (this time, no old car in front of me)

so I called the oil place and told them my story. I took my car in and had them look at it. The sweet little guy came inside and told me that my oil cap was missing and that there was oil all over my engine. He felt so terrible I could tell, he kept apologizing and telling me how sorry he was. To make up for the mistake, and for my lack of breathing well, he was going to order me a new cap (free of charge), top off the leaked oil (free of charge) and vacuum my car.

As I patiently waited, he comes back inside and tells me that he noticed my emissions test paperwork from the state that hadn't been completed yet.
My heart sank into my stomach.
April is the month I HAVE to get the catalytic converter fixed in my car.
April is the month my bank account loses $1200.
I am so not looking forward to that dreadful day.
As I have the pit in my stomach and look at the guy and just tell him "sure, try and pass my car"

He comes back and said I was all set to go.  The car passed. The oil is changed. The car is clean............................................................................
.............................................................
..........................................
..........................
............
......
.
 As he's talking, all I can do is just stare. 


My car did what? My car PASSED?!
are you joking me?
where is Ashton Kutcher, because I think I'm being PUNKD.

after I gathered my thoughts, I just smiled and said, "what? you're sure thats right?" he said, "Yeah. Um, your car is just fine Miss"

I was so excited I almost started doing a little dance in the store
He then proceeds to tell me that he won't charge me for the emissions test either because of the spilled oil incident.  He sends me on my merry little way.
$1225 still in my bank account.
And making me one of the happiest ladies alive.

Am I a LUCKY LADY or what?!
Getting your oil spilled on the engine could potentially save you $1225 bones.

I am so happy and cannot believe my luck.

whew!

do you ever?

do you ever feel like you HAVE to post daily on your blog?
I used to feel like that.
I used to think that I had to be a certain 'stereo-type' of a blogger.

well, since I began my new job on Monday I honestly have not had time enough in my day to even look at blogs, facebook, etc.

what a refreshing thing for me.
i am the first to admit that i waste too much time online.
its been a great couple of days to unwind and disconnect from the less-important things in life.

I've been able to:

- go bowling
- go to the dinosaur museum
- do laundry during the week
- lose 2 lbs
- make a few new friends
- tutor and teach piano lessons
- read my scriptures
- study general conference talks
- rest
- talk with a good friend on the phone
- get a random call from an old friend
- asked out on a date

whew.  i feel pretty accomplished this week thus far.  and it's not even over.
excuse me while I go get my sweat on at the track.

have a fabulous Thursday.
and please, remember to MAKE IT COUNT

(photo from last summer at Rasmussen Lake)

choices

learn your ABC's with {Miss Ashley}

Age: 23

Bed size: queen
Chore you hate: Laundry
Dogs: the family pup, a weiner dog named Cocoa
Essential start of your day: turning on the iPod and jamming out to some good tunes
Favorite color: any shade of green (except for Forest, yuck)
Gold or silver: rose gold
Height: 5'10''
Instruments I play (or have played): piano and I am teaching myself to play the guitar
Job title: in limbo at the moment, but let's stick with dental assistant
Kids: um, I don't got no kids of my own
Live: Springville/Provo Utah
Mom's name: Teresa
Nickname: oh geez...too many!  ash, she she, ashleystarinskiovignokovski (serious. my dad calls me that)
Overnight hospital stays: um...surprisingly, I've never slept in a hospital bed/stayed overnight
Pet peeve: people who don't clean up their messes
Quote: "Choose your love.  Love your choice"
Right or left handed: Righty
Siblings: I'm the oldest en mi familia. 2 younger brothers and a baby sister
Time you wake up: weekdays, I get up at 6:00 AM, weekends, I like to "sleep in" until 8:00/9:00
Underwear: of course!  i love pretty undies
Vegetables you dislike: tomatoes and cauliflower. YUCK 
What makes you run late: I am hardly ever late, I consider myself to be pretty punctual. almost all the time.
X-rays you've had done: I take teeth x-rays DAILY, but that's for patients.  I've had my lungs, wrist, arm, foot, and teeth x-rayed (hope the radiation doesn't cause side effects)
Yummy food you make: I make the best best BEST sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting.  mmm  
Zoo animal: I hate the zoo. mainly beacuse of the horrid stentch that lingers around the animals.  you know what i'm talkin about

smooth dancin

I love all of these songs.  but mostly I love their awesome dance skills.
what sahweet songs accompanied by sahweeter dancin skills.

guilty pleasure?

"guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do"

have you ever felt guilty before?  I mean really guilty?
ever felt guilty for doing something you know is going to be the best thing for you?

I feel like that at this moment in time. 
I feel terrible for leaving my amazing job.
I felt so guilty telling people in my ward I was moving.
I feel guilty for moving forward.
Like I am leaving so many things behind.

yet, I am so anxious and excited for my future.
I have made a lot of big changes the past few weeks and I am really looking
forward the future.
So much potential.
Lots of unknown adventures waiting for me.
New people to meet.
Many many hours of stay up late with roommates.
lots of cute boys to meet this summer.
Sunshine.

Lots of happiness is comin my way.
and what post wouldn't be complete without a HAPPY song?



You've gotta LOVE the Beach Boys.

spring

spring is here. officially.

and i love it.  oh, so much.

please stay spring.  i love all the lovely things you bring.

                                        

flowers make me happy.  aren't all these little gems just a HAPPY thing?

What is your favorite flower?