saying goodbye

last night was going all great and happy.
i hung out with hayley and bree.  we were laughing and having a good time.
then all of that changed with one phone call.
this wasn't a good phone call, I could tell by the sound of my moms voice.

she told me my grandfather had called my dad and asked him to come up to see him in the hospital.
immediately.
my grandpa has been in and out of the hospital for the last few months with various illnesses, heart attacks, falls, etc.

last time i saw him, about two weeks ago, he looked frail and so thin and weak.
it was hard to see him then.
its hard to see someone who was once full of life and joy sink into the pains of 'oldness'

my grandpa is NOT a complainer at all. 
typically if you ask him how he is feeling, he'll joke back and say, "with both hands"
he never complains at all.  even among all of his pain and suffering.

as we reached the hospital late last night, around 10:45 PM, I entered the hospital room.
not knowing what to expect.
i saw my sweet grandpa laying in the hospital bed.
he looked tired, he looked worn out.
now, it's a Warner family trait to be blunt and honest and very stubborn.
my grandpa told my dad that he wanted him to give him a priesthood blessing
it was the sweetest experiences i've ever had.

i am so thankful for the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ I have in my life.
the gospel is so dear to me. 

last night was also the last time I think i'll see my grandpa alive on this earth.
as I hugged him and kissed his head I felt a wave of calm come over me.
i will miss my grandfather dearly, but i know he is an amazing man.
he has served others his entire life and has been a tremendous
example to me of what a disciple of Christ is.
Someone who truly has charity for others in his heart.

i love my grandpa so much.  i cannot fathom life without knowing him.
he has taught me much and has been an anchor in my life.

i love you grandpa.  and i cannot wait to see you again, in the eternities.
i hope that i will make you proud with the way i live my life.
i hope that you will watch over me in the following days.
i will miss you dearly.  i will miss your jokes and your smile.
most of all, i will miss you.  and the hugs you give.
i will miss you asking me how school is, how the boys are.
i will miss you.
i can't reiterate that enough.

my thoughts are constantly with you and my prayers too.
i am so thankful I was able to tell you last night how much I love you.
you have been such an inspiration in my life.
i am thankful i was able to see you on last time and say my goodbye.