Recent Posts

Monday, February 7, 2011

monday


Monday.
What a day.

I'm just gonna put this out there: I had a horrible weekend.
I'm sick again.
Bad news was received.
Depression.
Loneliness.
Depression.
Anger.
Depression.
Hurt.
Depression.

It was just an awful weekend.  I can't even put into words, nor do most of you want to hear them.
I've battled depression for almost two years now and I've never experienced anything like what I've been dealing with the past few weeks.

If you don't understand depression, it's hard to wrap your head around what I'm feeling exactly.
But I just want to say, how wonderful it is to have my amazing family to fall back upon.

My father especially.

He and I had a heart to heart last night and I've never felt so much love and happiness.
My dad and I share the depression battle.
But no one understands it quite like him.
he doesn't tell me to snap out of it.  to just suck it up.  depression is so much more than that.  it's like a looming black cloud over your head, constantly. 

Most days are better than others, but I had just had enough last night.

I love my dad.
He is an amazing person! 
He understands me, where I'm coming from, and what I am feeling.
He also gives great advice.
Some of the best advice ever in fact.
People would PAY to get advice from him if they knew how awesome he is.

Anyway, long story short...I'm feeling much better today.
and it's funny how life works.

I'm at the warehouse today, and one of my favorite customer/clients came in to pick up her order today.
And guess what?
She brought me this:


A Starbucks Blueberry scone with a lovely Naked O.J.
It was a sweet gesture, but something that made my Monday that much better.
I don't think she even knows what this small act of kindness will mean in my life today.
She has reminded me that the world is still good.
People are kind.
We all need to take care of each other.


Therefore, I'm going to PAY IT FORWARD.
Going to find 3 people I can help today.
Who are you going to influence for GOOD today?


"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad or made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed."

8 comments:

Amanda Moury said...

I'm so deeply sorry you had a bad weekend :( My mom and brother struggle with severe depression and I can only imagine how hard it is. Keep your chin up girl, and good for you for even through the rain clouds wanting to be a ray of sunshine and paying it forward :)

Caroline at Her Own Eden said...

I'm so sorry you had such an awful weekend! I have battled with depression in the past before as well, so if you ever want someone else to talk to as well feel free to get in touch with me! just remember that these feelings are temporary and even though you may feel alone, it doesn't change the fact that you ARE NOT ALONE.

Alexis Kaye said...

I admire you for sharing a personal subject. I haven't dealt with depression as much as you have, but I've had my small glimpses. Helping other people always helps me to feel better. It helps me to feel charity, the pure love of Christ. It's always a confidence and mood booster. This week I am writing some thank you notes to some special people in my life. It's great to find little things for others. Also, this may be totally irrelevant but part of my issues have stemmed from birth control pills. Not saying they are the reason, but if you're taking them they've been known to cause and increase depression. I hope things get better for you :) I know they will! love you!

Shay said...

Oh girl, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. I do know how amazing you are and I know that you will make it through this! Will you leave me a comment with your address? I am going to send you a card:-)

ashley.warner said...

thank you dear sweet bloggers.
I am feeling much better this evening.

I thank you for your loving words. You ladies are all so amazing and wonderful.

love you all!

-ashley

Kaitlin Heckert said...

Ashley my sweet, this saddens me. I don't ever want you to feel lonely and forgotten. I think you are marvelous-always have! And I think you are especially wonderful for always showing your love for others. Seriously, I think it's a totally note worthy gift!

-Mallori said...

You are so right about depression, not many people will ever be able to understand it. I am very happy for you that you have your dad to lean on when you need it! That's always a good thing.

Thanks for the comment and follow on my blog! I believe I stumbled across yours either yesterday or today, but I didn't have time to fully look around.

I like to read a few pages before I follow because I want you to know that as one of YOUR followers, I am following because I am genuinely interested in what you have to share. With that being said, I love your site :)

Ashley Eliza said...

bffe. i lovey you SO much and this is killing me to see you like this. i wish i could do something to take this away from you. and i wish i could understand it better. just know your father in heaven loves you and you have a wonderful family and i am always here for you. have another great day tomorrow and know you are always in my thoughts. you are so beautiful inside and out and an amazing woman. love you.

xoxo